This is So Incredibly Sick

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to hang up my deck of cards once and for all.

I’m at a no-limit table and been playing at it for about three or four hours when up comes this hand.  The player under the gun is a really loose goofball who will play any hand that is dealt to him.  To make matters worse (or better, depending on your point of view), he’s been on something of a roll and has built up a pretty decent chip stack.  He’s first to act, and so he just calls the big blind.  Everybody else folds around to me in the small blind, and I look down to see that I have a pretty decent hand – Suited Ace/Queen of Hearts.  I complete the blind; the big blind checks; and the three of us see the flop.

The flop could hardly be better for me – Ace of Clubs, Queen of Spades, Five of Hearts.  I’ve got top two pair on a fairly uncoordinated board.  Since I know Mr. Loose will bet anything, I decide to just check and slowplay my aces-up.  The big blind checks, and sure enough Mr. Loose puts in a pot-sized bet.  I of course smooth call, as does the big blind.

The turn brings the Three of Diamonds.  Not great – the board is starting to straighten.  I check, preparing for a big check-raise this time around.  The big blind puts out a minimum bet – I’m sure he’s on garbage – and Mr. Loose raises the pot.  Sweet!  I reraise all-in, the big blind finally folds, and Mr. Loose calls.  He has me covered, but just barely.  I’m looking forward to a pleasant double-up.

The river is the Four of Clubs, but it wasn’t a straight I needed to worry about.  It was an even less-likely hand – Mr. Loose rolled over a pocket pair of threes for a turned set.  As the pot was being pushed to him he thoughtfully said, “So, how’d you like my min-bet on the flop with nothing?”

Nice, genius.  Showed almost as much skill as hitting your two-outer.

Okay, I feel better now.  Just had to get that out of my system.

(A lot of my friends who read this blog complain that it contains too much poker-speak, and they can’t figure out what I’m actually saying.  I’m sure that this entry will be Exhibit ‘A’.)